I’m afraid of large groups. I just don’t like them. It makes me extra nervous every time I have to go to an event in a room full of people that I don’t know. The problem is that I don’t not like people. In fact, I love people! I love genuine relationships, and I think that’s why I get so nervous in large groups.
Over the years, I’ve tried to figure out different strategies for dealing with my anxiety when it comes to being in a large group of people. When it’s a situation where we just chit chat, it’s not that it’s difficult to find things that we have in common, it’s just that I just don’t know how much they care about what I’m saying! The reality, on the flip side, is that I care A LOT about what they’re saying.
I think that the ultimate concern here isn’t necessarily that I’m afraid of the people in large groups. It’s that I really would like to have a relationship with everyone that I come in contact with. I don’t need no superficial conversation about the weather. I really want to know about them and what’s important.
It’s really no different than when we sit down with a client and talk to them about their situations. We learn about things that only the most intimate of conversation will bring up and I value that. In fact, it’s one of the most valuable parts of my job. I learn about widows’ biggest worries or the person who fears retirement because they’ve worked at the same job for 35 years or about how clients struggle in their marriages. It’s ALL so important to what we do!
Next time when I’m in a big group, I try to remember, if I can just touch one person and understand what makes their life special, the anxiety I feel will all be worth it.